Are You A Mountain or An Iceberg

Our boys are opposites in many ways. I always use the analogy that Johnathan is an iceberg and Charles is a mountain. Many can easily list Charles' many great traits like his sense of humor, his care-free spirit, and his contagious laugh. Johnathan though is not as an easy read for people because so much stays 'hidden'.

To have met Charles is to know him. He holds nothing back when he is talking with others (even if it's inappropriate for discussion). He is loud, talkative, and wants to be the center of attention. Charles wants to share his knowledge about everything he knows. He loves to please people and can often be talked into doing almost anything. He is a sponge for information and can't wait to tell you all about it. His catchphrase seems to be 'I saw it on my tablet' and he loves to watch videos about everything.  

Johnathan, on the other hand, has a lot that lies below the surface. He is quiet, thoughtful, and takes a while to accept people. Due to Johnathan being mostly non-verbal (especially in overstimulating environments) people tend to miss out on all the knowledge he has. Johnathan is always taking note of what is happening even when it doesn't seem like it. We often tell people to block their screen when entering passcodes because Johnathan is 'watching'. He knows how things work and knows how to figure out anything he sees as a challenge. There is so much knowledge and wonderment that lies beneath the surface with him. I often find myself sitting in awe of the things going through his mind. Ever since he was young he has kept us on our toes.

Michelle:

I love the uniqueness of our boys and how blessed I feel when I get to enter their worlds. Charles has many of the same traits that I had as a child. Charles has such an extensive imagination and gets lost in the 'worlds' he creates daily. Sometimes I love to just sit and listen to his endless talking to himself. I know he has created such interesting stories and situations in his head. Sometimes I ask him about things I've heard him say. He'll often just responds 'I was just talking to myself' and walks away. Other times though he might share what he is thinking about. It's during those times I'm blown away about all the creativity he has bottled up in his mind. For better or worse Charles also has a very sarcastic side that I know he also gets from me. He tends to use it against us but in the end we usually get a laugh out of the experience (though not always right away)

Johnathan is my 'mama's boy' and I love the precious bond we have. I often think that bond started long before he was born and has grown and changed over time. I think a lot of it came from the large amount of time we've spent together when he was growing up. I have always been Johnathan's advocate and his voice throughout his life. While I see a lot of my personality traits in Charles it is Johnathan that I feel has the similar spirit to me. It's the quiet moments where we struggle together on the couch or share the non-verbal moments that leave a smile on our faces. Taking the time to slow down and enter his 'world' has allowed me to find a peace in life that I didn't know existed. 

I'm thankful for the journeys each of my boys have given to me. I am thankful for their uniqueness and their ability to help me find a balance that I need. They have led me through some of the highest of moments and some of the lowest while teaching us to be strong throughout it all. 

Jim:

Both of our boys have such big hearts. Johnathan's is very subtle, but speaks huge volumes when he acts. There was one time we were at Olive Garden, on our way out, two waitresses were talking. It was clear one was having a rough day. Johnathan placed his hand on hers and smiled. You could see her complexion change in an instant. 

Charlie on the other hand is the one who seems to know just what to do or say at the right moments. There are numerous moments we could share. But the one that lives fondly in my memory is the first Christmas after my mother passed away. She would always read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas to the grandchildren. That year, my older sister took over the responsibility. When she teared up during the reading. Charlie leaned over and hugged her while she finished the story. 

One of my favorite things to do when I am stressed is to go for car rides. Each of the boys enjoy going with me and it is some of the greatest one on one time I can have with them. When I go for rides with Charlie, he is talking most of the time, sharing his thoughts and asking questions. 

When I go with Johnathan, we ride around mostly just listening to music and enjoying our company. There are times that we just look at each other, and it is the look that you both just seem to understand what is going on. It is moments like these that I feel the closest to Johnathan. It feels like he has let me into his world. 

Michelle and I both love to take road trips with the boys. Johnathan, you have to watch his eyes when we travel. They are always darting all over the place taking every part of the view in. We just love seeing his face as he takes it all in is some of the small joys in life.

Then there is Charlie, as I said before, he is such a chatter box and has gotten good at sharing zingers at the right moments. Johnathan, really enjoys his zingers. Even thought Michelle or I are often the butt of his zingers, we really enjoy them too.

Michelle and I both love taking these trips as a family. When we are traveling with them, we feel closer to them and their world. As long as we can, we will continue to take these trips, whether it is a short day adventure or a multi-week vacation. You can always earn more money, but shared moments are priceless.